the
memories I
brought home that winter
didn’t turn off
I
envy those who have never fought in a war. They aren’t
haunted by the memories those of us who have served in a war
have. War is glorified in the movie theaters and on
television. Gore and violence sells. It also desensitizes
people. As a child, I watched my fairs hare of violence on
screen. Then I went to the Republic of South Vietnam.
Suddenly, what I saw on the screen was more than acting. I
was center stage. Doing live theater. Real bullets.
Real rockets. Real mortars. Real people dropping dead. Real
blood. Real fear. And just 18 years of age. When I returned,
I did what many did when they returned from the war. I tried
to forget what I saw and experienced. And to no avail. Drugs
and alcohol couldn’t erase the memories.
Certain
things a person can never forget. The horrors of war is one
of them. I exchanged a cap and gown for jungle fatigues. So
did thousands of others. We saw, we experienced. We felt,
and were changed forever. There were no ticker tape parades
to welcome us home. Some thanked us. Others cursed us. In
Washington D.C., there is a monument to honor the memory of
Vietnam War veterans. The same Washington D.C. that later
said our participation in the War was a mistake.
War
continues to haunt and ravage the world, leaving a trail of
blood and ruined lives in its wake. War is not glorious. It
is real. Too real.
odd,
a jasmine flower
in hell's bosom
The
former Republic of South Vietnam was an enigma for those of
us who fought there during the war. It was a mixture of
heaven and hell. Hell, because of the war. A war that
forever changed our lives, took away our innocence, and left
us with emotional scars that will haunt us until we die. The
sights and sounds of that war are not the kind that go away.
We saw and experienced things at a young age no young person
should have to see or experience. Unfathomable horror. Bleak
loneliness. And a fear that leaves you numb for days
afterwards. We were sent to the battlefields without
psychological preparation. And when we returned Stateside,
most of us were denied counseling.
The
Republic of South Vietnam was also heaven. Heaven, because
it is one of the most beautiful places on earth, bar none. I
was stationed in the Mekong Delta region, a rich rainforest
laced with intersecting rivers and waterways. It was like
living inside a National Geographic Magazine center spread.
There were tall palm trees, lush green foliage, beautiful
flowers, exotic animals and much more. A nature
photographer's dream come true.
A
touch of Hell. A touch of Heaven.
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