WHC
Zip Kukai
Judge: John E. Carley
Pennines, UK
In
June 2001, WHC held the first Zip Kukai, a historical event in
Western haiku analogue. The zip kukai wraps up the WHC Zip
Workshop led by Zip originator, John E. Carley, co-editor of Worm,
The Poetry
Studio and Pennine
Ink. His personal website, The
Frogfrest, is home to the zip and other delights.
General comments: As an analogue to the Japanese haiku the zip
seeks to adopt an unforced and natural syntax. The form also encourages an
awareness of the phonic properties of the English language whilst avoiding
word-driven versification.
Of the many excellent pieces submitted those that made it to the
shortlist were the poems which succeeded in exploiting the flexibility of
the weak/strong/weak pause structure, and generally avoided the
tendency towards compressed or fractured phrasing. (jec)
First Place
................this morning...the plush peonies
and your warm breath...in my hair
Marjorie Buettner
Adjudicator's Notes: A superb appeal to the senses that
communicates such intimacy. The poem is extremely well constructed. (jec)
Second Place
in the closet...his tuxedo
............next to...her empty hanger
Owen Burkhart
Adjudicator's Notes: A consummately paced poem. And the end
of the affair. If love has its seasons, winter has come early. (jec)
Third Place
leaning over the gate...to say goodbye
.......................we kiss...in the dark
Darrell Byrd
Adjudicator's Notes: The poignancy of this moment if innocence is heightened by impending disaster. Structurally flawless. (jec)
(in
reverse alphabetical order)
Honourable Mention
........soft folds...of the pure white lily
blush wine-red...in the center
Carol Raisfield
Adjudicator's Notes: So successful is the erotic symbolism it is
easy to overlook that this poem describes a flower. Intensely feminine
writing. (jec)
Honourable Mention
their hands and eyes...so cold
from the crying room...stifled laughter
Semi (Terrie Relf)
Adjudicator's Notes: Here the form is pushed to destruction as it
generates a terrible madness. The poem is at best disturbing. (jec)
Honourable Mention
...............trailing crows...a red-tailed hawk
climbs through clouds...to high heaven
kirsty karkow
Adjudicator's Notes: A very subtle method of evocation. The poem
is uplifting, but of course the hawk was never really in danger.
Perhaps we should side with the crows. (jec)
Honourable Mention
we capture wind...with open hands
.....summer heat...escapes our grasp
Debra Woolard Bender
Adjudicator's Notes: A very skilful use of the zip structure to
generate paradox. It would seem that, no matter how much we flatter
ourselves, by and large our efforts come to nought. (jec)
The
Zip Workshop lessons and notes are available to WHCshortverses
members in the homepage files on YahooGroups WHCshortverses.
