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  Editor's Choice - Symbiotic Poetry

 

Select Poetry from the Members of the World Haiku Club
Debra Woolard Bender
Florida, US


 

Sinking into Dusk, a linked crystalline

Maria Steyn
South Africa
Marjorie Buettner
Minnesota, US

 

This hot summer night,
the ever-moving stars above your face and mine.



Heat lightning in the distance;
feeling the bones beneath your fragile skin.


Windchimes at the studio window;
the lightness of hands shaping clay.


Weeding the flower garden;
where the beetle burrowed a deep roundness.


The broken warmth inside a fallen nest;
branch shadows across the path.



Mother failing with each grasp of breath;
oxygen mask over her face.


Mountain summit;
the faint glow of ancient redwoods sinking into dusk.

 

 

In his search for "a way to assimilate as much essence and traditional expectation of Japanese haiku while meeting the need for a natural form for English language and poetic tradition," WHC member, Denis Garrison, developed a haiku analogue. He has called his experimental, 17 syllable fixed-form, the "crystalline." The poem's couplet form, a two-line versification, serves the function of the Japanese kireji or cutting word. Our poets of the "Editor's Choice: Symbiotic Poetry" selection for merit and commentary, have employed a "linked verse" format, participating together to build a larger poem out of several linked crystalline poems.

Oftentimes, on WHC's and other haiku and haiku-related mailing lists, poets are inspired by another member's verse, resulting in spontaneous linked verses -- written in much the same manner as "free-renku"; each subsequent verse links to the previous one by association, and then shifts to a new subject. At the same time, the linked poems are not bound by any other rules of Japanese renku except those which its participants might wish to employ.

In a spontaneous "series," the poems are often written intuitively rather than according to any agreed upon format. Like renku, the larger poem in a free-linked collaboration develops out of several associated poems -- but differently than renku, in that free-linked poems are usually made up of a number of poems which are complete in themselves. An internal renku link may be dependent on its preceding verse for completion. The vast majority of renku verses are "uncut," i.e., have no kireji. Kireji usually translates into Western haiku as a caesura, a major pause. An English-language haiku could employ a punctuated or unpunctuated fragment/phrase. The hokku, or beginning verse in traditional renku, is what we think of as "haiku," and can employ a punctuated cut. The hokku, a free-standing seasonal verse, is the genre from which haiku evolved.

Sometimes, in free-linked poems, two or more poets will decide beforehand to pair two complementary finished poems as starters for a longer series. Such is the case of "Sinking Into Dusk," where Marjorie's and Maria's linked crystalline poem was inspired by their first and second place verses, awarded in WHC's July 2001 Shortverses Crystalline Kukai. These two winning crystallines became the primary verses in the series.

Communicating through these kinds of poems in an internet setting, we can, with extra immediacy, feel how linked we are as human beings, though living far apart and in different cultures. While separated by time, distance, language and various aspects, all are part of an entire creation. Let's look at this poem as both separate [crystalline/haiku] poems, and as joined parts within the whole [series]. Thus, we can see how a free-linked poem relates to and is, as it were, an "offspring" of renku, while being something very different, a hybrid of East and West. This blending is evident in both the experimental form of haiku called the "crystalline," and in the linking of the separate, but associated crystalline verses in a renku-like series. As with the linking verses of a renku, each crystalline is a "slice of life" as seen from the poet's perspective in a certain time and place. Each verse will be linked to the previous one by some relative association:

This hot summer night,
the ever-moving stars above your face and mine.


Heat lightning in the distance;
feeling the bones beneath your fragile skin.

The same stars are ever-moving in the heavens above Maria's and Marjorie's faces and our own as they have since "the beginning." Both visual-tactile crystallines compare the far distance of space and sky with the nearness of human face and body. "Heat lightening" and "bones beneath your fragile skin," as contrasted images, suggest the brevity, the transience of our lives. If there is a weakness to this poem, particularly in relationship to renku, I would find it in the aspect that the linked crystallines are somewhat too closely related to each other by subject matter, as are the words "hot" and "heat lightening." The poems are rather, by their similarities, a set -- a pair of "like-verses," even more beautiful when placed together. The rhythms of the verses complement each other...and stars have a way of spinning song and story...

Heat lightning in the distance;
feeling the bones beneath your fragile skin.

Windchimes at the studio window;
the lightness of hands shaping clay.

Here is the point where the spontaneous linking has begun between our poets. Maria associates "hands" to Marjorie's "feeling the bones," retaining the exquisite delicacy inherent in the first pairing. If considering renku "rules," an alternative word for "lightness" might be a possibility to consider, in that the repetition of "light," in addition to the association between "feeling" to "hands," may create a "double link," although the two words are different in meaning and context. Stars, heavens, a breath of wind combined with the potter's hands shaping clay and bones beneath skin, cause me to reflect on God, man, genesis, death and regeneration; the spiritual stories and verses from the Bible in my Judaeo-Christian tradition borne of an Asian land, Israel.

     "...the Lord God formed man out of the clay of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life, and so man became a living being." (Genesis 1:2 NAV)

Windchimes at the studio window;
the lightness of hands shaping clay.

Weeding the flower garden;
where the beetle burrowed a deep roundness.

Again, if this were renku, there would be a double link -- 1) "hands" to "weeding," as an activity of the hands, and 2) "shaping clay" to the "beetle burrowed", i.e. its shaping the earth into roundness. As a free-linked series, however, the two poems and the image-transitions between them are finely matched, balancing airiness and earthiness, making a lovely pair. The hands that so skillfully and artfully shape the clay also nurture and protect that which they have planted in the garden.

     "And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed...And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it." (Genesis 2:8,15 KJV)

The underworld hole where Marjorie's beetle burrowed, burying itself in earth, is an archetypical resurrection image. Considered, by Mosaic dietary law, an "unclean" creature to those ancient Hebrews who exiled from Egypt just prior to the giving of the commandments, the beetle, in Egyptian mythology had long been associated with death and resurrection. Khepri ("he who rolls the sun") is the scarab-beetle god identified with Re as a creator-god, often represented as a beetle within the sun-disk. While the crystalline, as a form of Western haiku, is objective in its imagery and wording, refraining from direct metaphor and simile like much traditional haiku, the cultural scents or flavors of words and images can layer the poems with hidden meanings, associations and emotions. The author and reader may see the the imagery alone, or may recognize further depths through those associations called up by their own cultures and experiences.

Weeding the flower garden;
where the beetle burrowed a deep roundness.

The broken warmth inside a fallen nest;
branch shadows across the path.

The associative link between these verses is found in comparison of the roundness and warmth of a bird's nest to the insect's burrowed home. The theme of this particular linkage is absence, loss and fragmentation. Whereas the absent beetle had broken into the earth to make a nest or haven, the bird's nest has fallen, and probably broken apart upon the earth. A sense of sadness enters with this transition from the coziness and security of one home to a "small" tragedy of loss concerning another. But not so small after all, the falling apart of a home, a life, a family.

In haiku and other Japanese arts, what is not said or pictured, i.e. the "negative space" around the "positive space" is of enormous importance. This is the quiet space in which reality or truth may be recognized, defined or understood. If there is an elusive "aha! moment" which is widely discussed and often valued by Western haikuists, but not thought of (at least, by that term) by Japanese, this would be the place of its occurrence. It could be that the phrase "haiku moment" gets in the way of understanding, especially between cultures. To me, the so-called "haiku moment," and the implications of what is left unsaid, i.e. negative space, are one and the same - and recognized in both Japanese and Western cultures by whatever name, or no-name by which it is understood. An author or artist either intuitively or purposefully paints it into the picture (by leaving it out!). This is why a suggested metaphor or simile can make a haiku stronger and more attractive than one in which the similarity or underlying meaning is spelled out in direct terms. In any endeavor, it is what is half-hidden, waiting to be found, which is alluring to us. As a learning tool, we remember best what we discover ourselves rather than when facts are simply presented from a secondary source as truth. I believe this is what is meant when it is said that art is more truthful than factual or scientific truth, as mysterious as that may sound. To unwrap and discover truth is profound and satisfying.

And here, in Maria's picture of the bird's broken nest, there is an unspoken comparison in which a hidden truth awaits: the universality of broken homes within humanity's history. Add to that, disasters: birds, beetles or humans, none of us are immune. "Branch shadows across the path" further illustrate fragmentation. Yet these are only tangled shadows which would seem to break and block the path, a way toward a destination.

The broken warmth inside a fallen nest;
branch shadows across the path.


Mother failing with each grasp of breath;
oxygen mask over her face.

The sadness of brokenness deepens. To me, this pairing of verses is the strongest in the series, followed by the final pairing. Marjorie moves intimately into the family home, associating the falling of a nest to the failing of a parent's physical life. An oxygen mask would seem, by visual appearance, to block air from the lungs, but in fact, it is breath-giving, prolonging the last days of the patient. I sense a correlation between the branch shadows and the oxygen mask -- Mother's path toward the inevitable ending of her physical life seems blocked temporarily, and maybe illusively, by that medical treatment which is meant to give her a measure of help and comfort in her transition from the physical world, through death, to the next. In these two verses I can hear echoes of a song of David, the Hebrew psalmist and shepherd-king:

     "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me..." (Tehelim/Book of Psalms 23:4)

...and the later words of his descendent, the itinerant Jewish prophet, Jesus, preaching on faith, truth and situations which require great courage under threat of death:

     Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore... (Matthew 10:29-31a KJV)

Mother failing with each grasp of breath;
oxygen mask over her face.

Mountain summit;
the faint glow of ancient redwoods sinking into dusk.

Here, I might not choose the word, "face", in that it is a major noun employed at the very beginning of the poem. An oxygen mask is in the shape of a small hill over nose and mouth, giving the breath of life to Mother, but as in the shifting movement of a night-dream, the mound has now translated into the snowy summit of a mountain (a symbol of the eternal and the heights of spirituality). What becomes clear is, that while based in environmental nature, the entire series is about humanity. In every verse except the last, the presence of people is evident. This may have happened intuitively, rather than being thought out, but it is intensely sensed and "right." A mortal life is being "given up" while the world remains. Maria has remarkably provided an equally gentle and powerful ending: The heights of the vast heavens are seen above the eternal mountains as the end of day sinks into a "faint glow of ancient redwoods." It is a burial of the sun, that giver and symbol of light and life. Through the linkage, a hidden metaphor for Mother or Parent and the last day is sensed. Heaven's ever-moving stars of the first line will soon re-appear (is that glimmering star over the horizon Mother's?). Not only does the ending of the series echo the closure of a life, it suggests closure of the poem by subtly circling back to touch on its beginning - night becomes day and returns with dusk. The life-blood color fades away while the poem climaxes with the majesty of a biblical Psalm -

     What is man, that thou art mindful of him?  or the son of man, that thou visitest him?  Thou hast made him a little less than angels, thou hast crowned him with glory and honour." Psalm 8.4-5 (Septuagint)


A few thoughts on new linked poetry forms

There has been, among WHC's poets, quite a lot of interest in, and activity with, "new forms" or contemporary styles of linked verse derived from renku. As Werner Reichhold (who coined a term for collaborative poetry: "symbiotic poetry") had observed in his essay "A Few More Words About Symbiotic Poetry," (Volume 1, Issue 2, August 2001, World Haiku Review), rengay, colorengas and many other of the newer linked poem formats are themed. To employ a set theme, collaborating poets depart radically from renku, while at the same time, retain renku's "link and shift" from verse to verse. It has been said that renku is fun to write, but difficult to read, which may, in turn, make a themed symbiotic poem, while not as challenging to write, a pleasure to read as well as compose.

Participating in renku with its subtle associations and surprising turns offers elements of games like dominos or chess, in which players must exercise concentration and focus, more and more as the game progresses and the poem lengthens. It can be all at once exhilarating and intensely challenging. It is this author's surmising that symbiotic verse, i.e., collaborative linked poetry, could easily become a major new Western genre. Poets of Asian forms often become "hooked on haiku." Those who use the internet quickly discover the joy of spontaneously linking their verses to others on haiku mailing lists. Along the way are found haiku's related forms including traditional Japanese renku and its newer experimental Western variants.

Recently, while looking up some information on the internet about Reginald H. Blyth, who is the subject of James W. Hackett's column in this issue, I enjoyed reading, once again, a thread of a scholars' discussion of R.H. Blyth on the PMJS mailing list of the Meiji Gaukin, a university of Japan. Adrian Pinnington of Waseda University, and author of Britain and Japan: Biographical Portraits (1994; Folkestone, Japan Library, Kent) was invited to participate in the thread. He spoke of Blyth concerning zen and haiku, although his statement, quoted below, surely encompasses a broader sense of the arts and other endeavors common to mankind:

Traditions only survive with innovation - it is surely very naive to think otherwise.

Denis Garrison, developer of the "crystalline" haiku analogue, in his essay, "The Need for Experimentation," published in the August 2001 issue of World Haiku Review, wrote these observations which have been echoed by poets and artists throughout different eras and lands:

When an art form is adopted by a different culture than that which originated the form, it becomes the new culture's own property and it is made over in the cultural context which it has entered...

It is a delicate balance that one must strike. One must not discard the past in ignorance, but one also must not be constrained by the past. One must assiduously study the rules of poetics and then ignore them. The rules of poetics are not for writing the poem; the rules are for forming the craft of the poet. Every time a poet puts pen to paper, poetry is reinvented - or should be!

To this end I would encourage poets to allow new offshoots of traditional forms to develop, and to enjoy the creativity. At the same time, preserve the root with diligence, for both are important parts of the same plant. It behooves us to learn poetry history: its seed, and to become firmly grounded in traditional practice and technique: the root. Of course experimentation, by its nature, will necessitate stumbling, mistakes and many failures, but on the the other hand, makes for new life and growth. At times, the result may even be something successful and truly lasting.

 - DWB

 

Go to Editor's Choice: Haiku

Read More Shortverses

Read more about traditional renku by Paul MacNeil in the WHCrenku column

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