WHC Renku - Follow This Games 5 & 6

WHCrenku - Follow This! Completed Games 5 & 6

FOLLOW THIS ! Completed Games 5 & 6
Reader Participation With Renku Verses
Paul MacNeil, Renku Editor
Florida, US

game #5, solution and Reader Contributions

from Tin Dippers, a summer kasen renku
by Paul MacNeil, Ferris Gilli, and A.C. Missias

with a magnifier
watching ants emerge

.......... 18) fg

first warm spell
attracts sun bathers
to the college quad

.......... 19) pwm

the actual #20 was:

taste of sea salt
on the oiled baked potato

..... Ferris Gilli

Ferris wrote a non-seasonal verse with a dramatic change of
topic. The links, two, are through associations of words. The
sunbathers, in bathing suits link to the sea, but more delicious
was her reference to oiling the potato to cook. The college kids
might have used some suntan lotion, or if not, then certainly
some sunburn cream later on. Her #20 is far from #19, and very
far from #18.

The assignment was:

Submit a two-line verse having no season -- no kigo connoting any season:

It is preferred that the verse would not be an outdoor setting.
Humans may or may not be mentioned but, if so, let it not be
plural because the last mention of people (in #18) was in third
person plural. Variety in all things. This assignment is a chance
to think freely and associate as wildly as you wish. Do link, of
course, to #19. Both #'s 18 and 19 were spring topics, as was
#17 (not shown) in the traditional "blossom" slot.

my daughter's midnight snack
sets off the smoke alarm

..... Paul David Mena

Paul, a known witster, doesn't disappoint. He is cooking food, as did Ferris, but now the smoke and fire connects subtly to #19 with the notion of burning. Also both have young people.

his third use of the word
"quotidian"

..... John Stevenson

John is also a tried and convicted wit. Send you to the dictionary? Ahh, but what are undergrad males to do but try to impress the bikinied variety of classmate? Ritually lighting a pipe is far from fashionable anymore. Imagine his vocabulary after studying Aristotle, or heaven forfend -- Hegel! The link is not close. This is prized, but not to be overused. Variety in all things.

an open book of poems
lies on the library floor

..... Betty Kaplan

Betty, too, has seen the humor of it, the quad suddenly full of those who hurry spring. From a window, seeing the sun and the others on the Quad, a studier in a dark library abandons Longfellow in mid-epic. It is still related to college, and is a
good link. Subtle link, great humor.

every muscle cramped
due to this silly machine

..... kirsty karkow

Kirsty has taken us another step. A good one. Not just getting that tan, but to shape up, possibly for beach and swimsuit competition? And it does not have to be seasonal as it is read.

with the kitchen blender
crushing ice

..... Cindy Zackowitz

Cindy takes a link from the heat of #19... the weather itself.
And the need for a cool beverage. Fine stanza... and link. A
long way from ants and college Quads.

the usual bar of soap
follows my blurted curse

..... 20) Christopher Herold

This is another kettle of fish entirely. Christopher, a veteran
renku player, has found a complete shift from #19 and far away
from #18. The link is about the sequence, the inevitability of
pairing. First warm spell and the sun bathers appear. He drops
both the soap and words to get his mouth washed for. Shame on
you Christopher!

game #6, solution and Reader Contributions

excerpt from Peony Petals Fall, 1780
    - translation by Earl Miner

the palanquin bearer
needs someone to bear the other end
as autumn rain comes down

..... - Kito (#31, an autumn verse)

a kite and a crow face off
disputing space over there

        - Buson (#32, no season, NOTE: this kite is a bird, a
raptor, a kind of hawk ... crows will often chase hawks, even if
not nesting season when this mismatch is attempted by many other
birds)

Kito's actual #33

standing in the field
the little shrine is haunted
with competing gods

The assignment for game #6 was:

Please write a linking stanza of three lines. There is no season, traditionally, in the 33rd verse. If you choose a human reference, not required, it should be unlike the third person singular of verse #31.

And as always the only renku verse that is a haiku is the first -- the hokku. You should not have a cut or break (caesura) punctuated or otherwise; the verse should flow smoothly, leading the reader from one to another. This is especially true in this 4th and last page: stanzas 31 through 36. This closing group is normally characterized by directness.

the mountain caves
throughout Afghanistan
are searched again

...... kirsty karkow

Kirsty has leaped ahead more than 2 centuries to another dispute. It is fine to have topical verses. One about war is often included in a kasen renku... and a mention of foreign geography is well placed.

I could see the sunrise
from my office
if I turned around

..... John Stevenson

John has gone for an opposite of word play. The birds squabble face-to-face. He, in all stubbornness, will face away. Not even to see a sunrise. Could if he wanted to, though ... ey? It's HIS office, his space.

    wild flowers cover
    a coffin made of white oak
    the final house

    ..... Betty Kaplan

The "wild flowers" here give this an unfortunate sense of season. Perhaps the group would have suggested to Betty to drop the word "wild." The image of death is a fine one. The black crow is often a symbol of death (as is a raven). The disputes of life are over...the only space is now the coffin. This is not a close link, but is good technique to use occasionally. It is a good change to have a serious verse.

our family estate
now offered as a retreat
for homeless children

..... Christopher Herold

As a partner here, I'd stroke my beard a while hoping for someone else to ask him what he meant for linkage. But, slowly the one words appears: "retreat." The disputatious birds have retreated, and argument has led to change. The generations have changed, roles and places are reversed. The homeless kids now do not have to fight for the minimums of life. It is a fine verse, a strong set of images. And has no season.

I thank everyone for playing.

NOTICE for Submissions

All of the renku and renku selections shown here are by permission of the authors who retain full copyright. Your submission of original verses to FOLLOW THIS! (See New Games on Next Page) and/or submission of your complete renku to the Renku Editor expresses your permission for the World Haiku Review to publish your verses if accepted. Not all submissions will be published. One does not need to be a member of WHC to submit to the reader participation renku games

Information about the mailing lists of WHC may be found at the WHC website:

http://www.worldhaikuclub.org

Go to New Games #7 & 8

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