Judge George Swede (CA)
10 Selections
Three Top Choices
First Choice:
108:
empty bird's nest
in an
empty tree --
year's
end
Meryl
Duprey
British Columbia, Canada
This haiku has all the five characteristics
which I view as necessary:
brevity (only eleven syllables), sense images (bird's nest, leafless tree), a
focus on the present (emphasized by the absence of a verb), a reference to
nature (other than human nature), and the stimulation of wonder or awe in the
reader.
The first two lines describe a scene that almost everyone has experienced, and
the third a routine event. Yet the two in combination create something fresh, an
unusual juxtaposition that evokes a feeling of wonder tinged with sadness. In
many readers, further thoughts and feelings will be stimulated as they link the
imagery to middle-age and the departure of children.
The author's technique adds to the desired effects. The repetition of the word,
empty, and the twice-used possessive, create an echo effect suggesting
hollowness. Reinforcing this, is the double-spacing between the lines.
All-in-all, this is a brilliant haiku, in large part due to its seeming
simplicity.
Second Choice:
346
walking
after our quarrel
snow lower on the mountain
Winona
Louise Baker
British Columbia, Canada
This haiku has all five characteristics which I
view as necessary: brevity (fourteen syllables), sense images (walking, quarrel,
snow, mountain), a focus on the present (emphasized by the use of a verb
functioning as a noun), a reference to nature (other than human nature), and the
stimulation of awe or wonder in the reader.
Everyone can recall taking a walk in order to cool off after an argument. Thus,
the first two lines immediately connect to our memories of such occurrences, but
the third line provides us with a new interpretation. The lower snow suggests
the deepening of coldness towards the other person in the quarrel.
Technically, this haiku is perfect. Each of the
three lines focuses on a separate event, and then they combine to create
something more than their sum. While the length of the third line makes it heavy
in comparison to the first two, this is congruent with the descent of the snow
and the resonance we experience is greater as a result.
Third Choice:
19
runs ahead
to break ice on the puddles
his voice is changing
Winona
Louise Baker
British Columbia, Canada
This haiku has all five characteristics which I
view as necessary: brevity
(fifteen syllables), sense images (running, breaking, ice, puddles, changing
voice), a focus on the present (through the use of the appropriate tense plus a
gerund), a reference to nature (other than human nature), and the stimulation of
awe or wonder in the reader.
The scene depicted is natural. Children in wintry climes often smash ice,
but juxtaposing such an act with a pubertal voice change adds complex and
evocative elements since we often refer to the voice of a child about to enter
puberty as "breaking" or "cracking." The act of breaking
frozen puddles in this situation suggests hormonally-induced aggression while at
the same time hints at the joy of
such change.
The unconventional style of this haiku is another compelling feature. Instead of
using a gerund in the first line, the author employs the third person singular
with an implied subject and in the second line has the implied subject engaging
in a second activity. This technique magnifies the effect of the third line. The
words "his voice" can stand alone, i.e., they do not have to agree
with a prior gerund and make maximum use of the gerund that follows, to create a
small surprise.
Fourth Choice:
30
Last light:
still as the heron
its reflection
Mario
Belaval
San Juan, Puerto Rico
Fifth Choice:
61
asleep
in the fallen scarecrow's lap
stray cat
Tom Clausen
New York, United States
Sixth Choice:
28
In the dark,
a sound I don't know --
the spring moon
Christopher (Kit) Baskind
Florida, United States
Seventh Choice:
486
crescent moon
so many things
left unsaid
Alison
Williams
Hampshire, England
Eighth Choice:
103
after mowing
snail's horns peeping out
from the grass
Zoran
Doderovic
Novi
Sad, Serbia (Yugoslavia)
Ninth Choice:
186
morning heat
an eggplant swells
out of its flower
Ken Hurm
Kentucky, United States
Tenth Choice:
148
Mount Fuji
it hangs upside down
in a dew drop
Garry
Gay
California, United States
Next
read Judge, Serge Tomé's selections and comments
Read
more about the WHF2002 Akita
2002
Speakers
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