Judge Michael
McClintock (US)
10 Selections
Three Top Choices
First Choice:
328
twilight . . .
a boy brings down
his kite
K. Ramesh
Chennai, India
This poem's spare language, complete lack of
qualifiers and single image, create an aesthetic whole that is a superlative
example of its type. All of the finer details of this scene -- a quite ordinary
one for a spring or summer day -- the reader must provide. In its openness and
directness are the poem's pleasure and "truth," and for these reasons,
it rewards re-reading. There is nothing here that requires us to agree or
disagree; the poem makes no argument. The smaller details are missing, not
because they are unimportant, but because it is unimportant that the poet
provide them. We are given the bare physical, material elements of the scene and
they suffice: time of day, boy-and-kite, and the phrase, "brings
down."
The same can be said for the emotions the poem creates. They are not depicted,
described or asserted in any way. They exist entirely outside the poem --- a
fine example of the haiku's ability to say without saying, to show rather than
tell, to invite meditation rather than to conclude a thought or send one off
with the poet's thought or impression. We must participate, or we miss the
magic, pleasure and satisfaction of this poem's temporal moment. Objectivity in
haiku, so often praised, is not an end in itself, but ever leads to the
emotions, even in an austere, "objective" poem such as this. The
simple imagery given is just enough, yet leads us back, surely, to recreate in
our own minds and imaginations how the boy has spent a good part of the day that
is ending. The twilight, the boy and the kite are all tethered to the temporal
moment and its single, unified image. They are the whole of that moment's
single motion -- the kite being reeled in, and the day ending. This is how we
might like for all days to end, and all things to end that must end -- with a
small act of our own will in harmony with the bigger picture. The poem avoids
being too "ideal," I think, in the reluctance expressed by the long,
single syllables of the second line -- the boy is not going entirely gently into
that good night. We sense his wish that the day might be longer -- or the
string. To say too much about this kind of haiku -- which is what I have done
here, I suspect -- is to lose the poem's quotidian essence.
Second Choice:
308
the moon rises
to paint it's picture
on the quiet lake
Robert
J Persch
Florida, United States
Good poetry will often set "rules" of
composition on their heads. I think this haiku is that kind of poetry. This is
how the child sees the world before the adult learns the rules. Figurative
language and personification of any kind are generally shunned in haiku, yet
here I find the use of the verb form "to paint" perfectly acceptable,
absolutely right. I also have no quarrel with the fact that the poem may be read
as a complete sentence -- in fact, here, that form of unconscious, natural
delivery has an artlessness about it that complements its subject. I
suspect the poet may be a sumi-e artist, and finds nature's art, on this
occasion, utterly beyond his abilities to reproduce the same with his black
inkstone, water and white paper. To "paint its picture" as well as the
moon paints its own on this quiet lake is beyond human capacity, and he knows
it. We look over his shoulder and know it, too. The poem is a wonderful
metaphor, without apologies, contrasting nature's art to human art. There is
something gently mocking in its matter-of-factness and implied comparison. Such
haiku are rare, but when they work, as this one does, they are
unforgettable.
Third Choice:
305
how I linger
at the summit --
autumn colors
Christopher Patchel
Illinois, United States
The Buddhist ideal of being "at one"
with the world and all its phenomena notwithstanding, we are in fact seldom in
such a relationship -- we are aware we stand apart, especially before nature's
more awesome, overwhelming displays. We are puny observers and quite aware
of it. Perhaps that is why poetry is necessary -- to approach the ideal, but
never to grasp it fully. Hence, our desire to linger, to hold onto just a
little longer, whatever astonishments of beauty we come by -- in a poem or in
nature -- to stand where this poet is standing, and try to take all of it into
ourselves; wishing that we had such a capacity, and knowing that we do not,
except for moments about as fleeting and passing as it takes to read this poem
about it. The understanding that the season is autumn, and that the days are
shortening, adds to the poem's sense that lingering is perhaps a guilty
pleasure, and that it keeps us too long from other, necessary destinations.
Especially in old age might we have similar desires to linger; at the summit of
our age and meager accomplishments in the world in contemplation of our own
mortality. I am not troubled in the least about the poet's presence in the
"I" of this haiku -- it adds rather than detracts from the poem's
honest self-awareness; we recognize the poet's wonder as our own, and can easily
fill in from our own memory the rest of the scene and the feelings involved.
Fourth Choice:
141
spring shower
the street musician trills
on a silver flute
Patrick
Gallagher
California, United States
Fifth Choice:
199
the mound of earth
on my father's grave
autumn leaves
Jean
Jorgensen
Alberta, Canada
Sixth Choice:
383
as they were talking
the falling cherry petals
rested in their hair.
Vida
Pust Skrgulja
Gajeva,
Croatia
Seventh Choice:
15
changing kimonos
between seasons . . .
my ordinary life
Pamela A. Babusci
New York, United States
Eighth Choice:
351
They are fishing
The Moon in the river, the boughs
of the weeping willow.
Durda
V. Rozic
Ivanic Grad,
Croatia
Ninth Choice:
29
Dried blossoms,
blowing in circles --
late evening.
Christopher (Kit) Baskind
Florida, United States
Tenth Choice:
49
I wait with a notebook,
a beggar
with a bowl
Owen
Bullock
Waihi, New Zealand
Next
read Judge, Visnja McMaster's selections and comments
Read
more about the WHF2002 Akita
2002
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