an'ya petrovic' Director of WHCbeginners, US
Sue Mill, Mentor, AU
Alison Williams, Mentor, UK
Elbert Pruitt, Alumni, Assistant Mentor, Session 3, US
Session 3
Regarding this WHCbeginners session, the most
impressive point to mention this time around, would be the superb member
participation. It was thorough, consistent and enlightening. Our
assistant-mentor, alumni, Elbert Pruitt, did a wonderful job, as did our
resident mentors, Sue Mill and Alison Williams. A special thank you to
sprite for putting together all the introductions with the submissions, and a
nod to Michael Baribeau for posting some cute anonymous "dog haiku."
In-between C&C, session discussion included
poetry sites and magazines, helpful hints for contests, our haiku habits,
historical applications in haiku, using kireji and kigo,
"telegraphese" (over-minimalization/dropping of articles), quirks of
the English language, things to avoid in haiku, "haiku
universality," plagiarism and deja-ku, cause and effect, simile and
metaphor, juxtaposition, haiga and scifi-ku. Once
again, it has been a truly growing experience for each of us in a sensitive and
nurturing atmosphere. Thanks ever so much to those who care enough to be
involved.
The Mentor's Selections:
setting sun -
barley ears ripple
light and dark
.........debs
watson
.........Devon,
England, UK
urban twilight
the sound of foxes
in our dustbin
..........Penny
Har
..........London,
England, UK
woodlice scatter -
a gardener's hand
rearranges rocks
..........sprite
..........London, England,UK
spring rain
another bit of snowfence
falls into the sea
..........Kate
Creighton
..........New
Jersey, US
morning snow -
traffic just a little faster
than the trees
..........Dove
..........Colorado,
US
Director's Notebook:
On occasion at WHCbeginners, we run across
haiku that are quite advanced, although their authors are virtual beginners to
the art form. Here, I would like to present two haiku that represent this
concept:
woodlice scatter -
a gardener's hand
rearranges rocks
..........sprite (Claire Chatelet)
..........
London, England, UK
We have in sprite's haiku what I call the
technique of "diverting the reader's attention."
If you will, take note of where the focus lies in this one. It is not on the
whole being, but only on the 'hand' of the gardener which, in turn, focuses the
reader's mind on the direct action, bringing attention to the most important
part in sprite's fine haiku -- that is, the scattering woodlice. A super
sophisticated moment!
Two classic examples of this kind of focus in Japanese haiku are:
a midday nap
the hand, with the fan
stops moving
..........taigi
and
only the staffs
of pilgrims passing --
the summer fields
..........Ishu
Sprite's beginner-haiku being well-crafted,
most members did not suggest changes. If only we could always keep the
open mind of beginners, each of us could be a continuously successful haijin.
Following is a member's haiku which I would like to speak about. Here, it is
copied in its original submission state (with the exception of punctuation
changes):
a walk in the woods -
bad luck spiders, I'm wearing
your entire nights work
..........john
garrett
..........British
Columbia, CA
There is really no need for an explanation
here, as anyone can see that this haiku is really "Issa-like" in its
presentation. Normally, the phrase, "bad luck spiders," might be
considered "telling" rather than "showing," but due to the
fact that this one has strong Issa-qualities, it suddenly becomes acceptable,
and makes for a superb moment by John at WHCbeginners.
Thus, I say to myself and to all of you, so shall we each reflect upon the haiku
intrinsic of not only a master's mind, but the 'beginner's' mind as well
-- no matter at what point we are in our writing career.
Very Respectfully,
an'ya, Director of WHCbeginners
