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WHCtournament
- Match 1 - Haiku
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| April,
Match 1: Judges' Haiku Selections & Comments |
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Kigo Haiku: "spring
clouds"
Themed Haiku: "snowmelt"
Free Form Haiku: (any subject)
Judges: Janice
Bostok (AU), Ferris Gilli (US), Yasuomi Koganei (JP), Michael McClintock (US),
Susumu Takiguchi (UK).
Kigo: "spring
clouds"
Match One
Judge Janice Bostok's Selection
the interviewer
asks about my children
spring clouds
Linda Robeck
We presume the writer is being
interviewed for a job. Perhaps the interviewee is young, with a young family. A
young family is always uppermost in one's mind. The juxtaposition of 'spring
clouds' indicates that while there may be clouds on the horizon (problems) they
are spring clouds and welcome weather, which will allow growth and blossoming of
perhaps both the new job and the family's welfare.
Judge Ferris Gilli's Selection
spring clouds--
my son tosses a penny
to the rapids
Mark Brooks
This poem is concise,
well-focused, and offers meaning on at least two levels. One can read it as a
nice, family-outing haiku, and enjoy the scenery; and one can go deeper and
imagine what might be going through the author's mind. Perhaps these clouds are
a bit dark -- perhaps the author is thinking that they are a bit tight for money
just now, and that the monthly income seems to disappear as quickly as that
penny will disappear.
Tossing the penny may be a
metaphor for being too young and carefree to feel the stress of financial
worries; or a metaphor for the author's decision to enjoy today with his or her
son and toss worries to the wind for now.
Judge Yasuomi Koganei's
Selection
jet fighters
back from the war
low spring clouds
fay aoyagi
It succeeded in indicating complex
feeling showing two extremes: sharp-cold jet fighter and the soft-warm spring
cloud, the contrast shown is strong, not alike the others.
Judge Paul MacNeil's Selection
one sail remains
on the old windmill
spring clouds
paul m
This haiku appeals on several levels. Both the past and present are
included. A strong sense of season involves not only the spring of now but the
winter just past and those before. The blades or sails of the windmill
have suffered from many storms. The mill no longer turns yet -- the clouds sail
by. The seasons turn. Not directly mentioned in this poem are the motions
of the sail, the clouds, and even the flowing water (if this was a well).
Now come the rains of spring.
Judge Michael McClintock's
Selection
spring clouds-
my son tosses a penny
to the rapids
Mark Brooks
One of those mysterious,
unforgettable moments between a parent and child, father and son, captured
simply and naturally. One senses that a spring storm has passed, one of those
quick showers or cloudbursts that occur in the turbulent air of March and April,
filling the creeks and streams with a sudden abundance of water.
This is an unassuming, masterful poem replete with natural symbolism and
poignancy. The symbolism at work here is not an intellectual construction over
or through which we must struggle to find meaning, but is an artifact of the
imagery and of our own musing over the beautiful and poignant moment conveyed by
the poem's simple, direct reportage.
It is a poem of beginnings and the
rushing onward of time. A coin tossed into such waters of course makes no sound
of its own, and sinks forever from the world of men and into the larger
dimension of earthly life and natural processes, overpowering and inevitable.
Spring becomes summer, boy becomes man. Yet a penny is still a penny and makes
its momentary glint against the rushing waters that consume it...Whenever and
wherever a coin is tossed into the water, a prayer of hope and good fortune is
being made. It is a universal gesture, an offering to the Fates and a prayer for
their beneficence in our personal destiny.
Surely what the son is thinking at
this moment is different from the father's thought; we sense the father's
thought, but we do not know the boy's -- just as we cannot know the future. And
yet with all of this said, the elements of this poem's imagery are not stand-ins
for anything other than what they are -- spring clouds, a penny tossed, the
rapid waters -- and the poem with these, in magical combination, pulls us into
the scene's emotional dynamics, rich and complex. This is first-rate haiku,
memorable and enduring.
Judge George Swede's Selection
one sail remains
on the old windmill
spring clouds
paul m
This haiku takes on the deep human
concerns with decay and renewal and it
succeeds in a remarkably succinct, graphic, yet fresh and lovely way.
Judge Susumu Takiguchi's
Selection
one sail remains
on the old windmill
spring clouds
paul m
In the sleepiness of spring, the
useless windmill adds to the idleness of the season.
Theme: "snowmelt"
Match One
Judge Janice Bostok's Selection
snowmelt
he changes into play clothes
after school
Devar Dahl
Comment: Even though I live in a
semi-tropical climate and have never seen snow falling - or melting - I
immediately feel comfortable with this poem. Its echo of Issa's 'old snow
melting ... free all the children, which is a universal forerunner for the
behaviour of children the world over, in any age, allows me to enjoy the poem
today. While children in the 21st Century spend much time at school, and
preparing for their adult life, they still enjoy that romp in the melting snow,
enjoy what nature offers. The snow is free, the children are free.
Judge Ferris Gilli's Selection
after therapy -
I clear a channel
for the snowmelt
Linda Robeck
"After therapy" offers
discovery on more than one level. Just as the author must prepare his or her
mind, clear the way, so to speak, for getting the most out of therapy (whether
physical or psychological therapy), so does he or she clear the way for the
snowmelt. Going further, one can imagine that the author has gained strength
from the recent therapy session, and now focuses the mind and body toward a
mundane, yet perhaps pleasurable act. The effective juxtaposition and concise
form make this a powerful haiku.
Judge Yasuomi Koganei's
Selection
melting snow --
at the school bus stop
Tyrannosaurus Rex
Betty Kaplan
It's a successful announcement of
the coming active spring, including an indication of the struggle for existence,
more cold-hearted and tough than the current attainment-competition, to which
schoolboys and girls will be facing in the near future.
Judge Paul MacNeil's Selection
snowmelt
old poetry flows
down Chinese mountains
Karina Klesko
This is an inventive mix of the
literal and figurative. A painting, perhaps a scroll, is of snow-capped
mountains in the stylized Chinese manner. It could be that three columns of
haiku-calligraphy are placed on the mountains. The word, "flows," is
clever without drawing attention. This poem does not seem artificially grafted
to the assigned kigo.
Judge Michael McClintock's
Selection
after therapy -
I clear a channel
for the snowmelt
Linda Robeck
This is a modern haiku that
understands timeless things.
Nature's grand renewal in the clear waters of melting snow, and the passing of
winter's freezing cold and isolation are seen in this poem on a greatly reduced
scale -- the personal, human scale -- and experienced vividly in terms of
a personal renewal, the re-connection of an individual to the world
through a simple act of the will. One might call it a "breakthrough',
literal and figurative. Two channels are cleared of blockage here: the human and
the non-human. They are made to flow together in one motion of release into the
felicities of spring.
Nature would have found, or provided, its own channel, or use, for the snowmelt,
but readily accepts our participation in its ineluctable, unalterable processes,
and allows our willful natures to exist -- and even receive welcome within its
mysterious, yet unconcealed, certain designs. This is the real, authentic
therapy -- it both binds and heals, however troubled our hearts or minds may be.
All fullness dwells in such simple things; this haiku, poised and elegant,
re-discovers what we have always known and makes it fresh and surprising.
Judge George Swede's Selection
Black Mountains --
the stagnant chill
of snowmelt
Alan J Summers
Snowmelt reveals the bleakness of the world before buds start to fill the spring
air. This haiku captures the essence of a moment during this time.
Judge Susumu Takiguchi's
Selection
snowmelt
a church bell calls
from the next valley
paul m
This haiku reminds me of
Switzerland, though it could be anywhere where air is clear and sounds travel
far.
Free Form Haiku
Match One
Judge Janice Bostok's Selection
dusk gathers
in the garden
raspberry tea
Karina Klesko
This poem brings into play more than one of our senses. Sight,
as dusk gathers. Dusk is a very special time, as day fades into
night. The garden is darkening slowly. The familiar is slipping away. When
we no longer see clearly, our sense of smell takes over. And, I imagine there
are many perfumes to be recognised and enjoyed in the garden at dusk. But one we
know we will enjoy, not only for its aroma, but for its taste, is raspberry tea.
This poem has shades of the ancient Japanese tea ceremony -- for those of us who
have enjoyed the ancient ceremony, in a beautiful garden setting.
Judge George Swede's Selection
sudden shower
four wasps investigate
a window gap
Alan J Summers
Rarely do we see a true haiku (i.e., non-senryu) with a humorous element. This
one creates its effects economically and vividly.
Judge Michael McClintock's Selection
lonely walk --
the hard, bitter greenness
of these new grapes
Billie Wilson
This poem captures that elusive feeling that comes only in
spring -- the world is coming back to life, but the processes are only
beginning, and cannot yet fulfill, nor satisfy our expectations or our memories
of how things should be. Spring, after all, is a very messy season: in disarray,
unpredictable, incomplete, raw in its newness, often too small and disappointing
in its first manifestations, sulking one moment and elating wildly the next. We
have asked too much, and are too early, and we know it -- the rebuke is there
for us to taste. The fruits of spring require the softening pace and warmth of
summer days. From our impatience we retrieve an understanding of the need for
ripening, and in the ripening abides our hope.
I will probably carry the taste and sensation of these grapes in my mouth for
the rest of my days. In ten words this outstanding haiku has captured whole
chapters of natural philosophy.
Judge Ferris Gilli's Selection
flower festival
trombonists warm up
in the gazebo
Mark Brooks
"Flower festival" sets a happy mood. I see all kinds
of flowers on the floats that are taking their places in line, ready to roll. It
makes me wish I could be there, listening to those trombonists, hoping Marian
the Librarian and Prof. Harold Hill will come strolling by. A nice, tight haiku
with imagery that appeals to several senses.
Judge Yasuomi Koganei's Selection
sudden shower
four wasps investigate
a window gap
Alan J Summers
There is little to choose between them. This one is better than
others in its sense of humour.
Judge Paul MacNeil's Selection
below the falls -
a stepping stone
just out of reach
paul m
This summer scene reminds of exploration. Most waterways have
trails made by animals, fishermen, or tourists. Finding a way closer to the
sound and view, the adventurer thinks to cross. A daredevil might leap from rock
to rock and suddenly "fall" to arise soaked and sputtering.
Alternatively, I can see the writer teetering there on one foot. Water
falls as it does; it is inevitable. Rocks fall and break. This person
moves too, but then is hesitant. The key word here is "stepping."
Judge Susumu Takiguchi's Selection
mid-term exams
the leaky fountain pen
in his pocket
DeVar Dahl
I do not normally like third person singular pronoun
("his") but in this haiku somehow it works. "Leaky pen"
conveys the vulnerability of the sitter.
