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WHCtournament
- Match 2 - Haiku
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| May,
Match 2: Judges' Haiku Selections & Comments |
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Kigo Haiku: "thistles
in bloom"
Themed Haiku: "summer evening"
Free Form Haiku: (any subject)
Judges: Janice
Bostok (AU), Ferris Gilli (US), Yasuomi Koganei (JP), Michael McClintock
(US), George Swede (CA), Susumu Takiguchi (UK)
Kigo: "thistles in
bloom"
Match Two
Judge Janice Bostok's Selection
exchange of needles
on Hastings and Main
thistles in bloom
Ushi
The seasonal reference 'thistle in
bloom' at first may appear a difficult one to feel comfortable with. But the
variety of haiku on the subject indicates that we still carefully notice such
things as the humble thistle.
I've chosen TIB #4 [ushi's haiku] because of the contrast and the honesty
of the subject. The ambiguity of 'exchange of needles' adds more layers to it
for me. 'Exchange' may simply mean more than one person is sharing a needle; or
as in Australia, the program whereby used needles can be exchanged for clean
ones. I see an inner city area where a discreet box is placed so that those who
wish to can deposit used needles in it. The inner city is where the hardy
thistle still blooms between the concrete. I see the contrast as hope for
those whom we may otherwise think of only without hope.
Judge Ferris Gilli's Selection
a few scattered planks
remain of the old bridge
thistles in bloom
Gary Steinberg
This is lovely -- not only
visually pleasing, but speaks to the emotions as well. I enjoy imagining a
county walk, and coming upon this scene. I fancy I can hear the echoes of
horses' hooves and wagon wheels clopping and rumbling over the bridge when it
was in its prime. Now the bridge has all but disappeared, but there are colorful
thistles here and there, perhaps the descendents of thistles that grew beside
the bridge long ago. The scene evokes nostalgia.
Judge Yasuomi Koganei's
Selection
thistles in bloom
by a rusted-out gas pump
Route 66
Karma Tenzing Wangchuk
It is a good history-narrating
haiku. This haiku reminds me of "Grapes of Wrath", written by John E.
Steinbeck. Since the Great Crisis, many dreamers headed for California looking
for jobs, gold, or realizing their American Dreams. The thistles, a wild plant
with prickly leaves, might give lessons to careless dreamers (careless flower
pickers) by their prickles.
Judge Paul MacNeil's Selection
a few scattered planks
remain of the old bridge
thistles in bloom
Gary Steinberg
This haiku expresses the
timelessness of nature against the impermanence of
man and his works. The bridge, no longer functioning, has rotted and been
scattered by the force of water. Years pass, spring flooding has its effect.
And, the homely plant with the lovely colored blossom persists. Seeds of
the thistle are enjoyed by many birds and are themselves scattered. Thistles
seem to dot the landscape that man has cleared or used and then left alone. This
is a nice use of the (assigned) kigo.
Judge Michael McClintock's
Selection
thistles in bloom
a plow mule asleep
in new hay
John Wisdom
A memorable, poignant poem. Summer
is often a time for breaking rules; naps
are more important. Such rewards of summer belong to all, even this mule, an
intelligent beast, who knows what it likes, and whose masters have allowed this
small luxury after the work is done.
Judge George Swede's Selection
thistles in bloom
grandmother's needle
threaded with purple
Deborah P. Kolodjii
The parallelism in this haiku is
irresistible: the needle is a sly connection to the thistles of the flower and
the color of the thread is the same as the most common color of the petals.
Judge Susumu Takiguchi's
Selection
outside
the rose garden
thistles in bloom
Victor P. Gendrano
Standards were high and it was a
job to choose the winner (I had at least three most favourite poems). However,
this one kept coming back for its engaging simplicity, natural flow, subtle
in-built caesura, a surprise element and effective contrast of the two flowers
where roses are implied to be not in bloom. Both flowers have many kinds, coming
to bloom in different seasons. In Japanese haiku, thistles are kigo for spring
and roses summer. Thistles are also used as a symbol of crime and punishment in
Japan.
Theme: "summer
evening"
Match Two
Judge Janice Bostok's Selection
summer evening
the slow moving river pulls
at a willow's limbs
soji
'Summer evening' -- in contrast to 'Thistle in bloom' -- may
seem quite an easy reference to toss off a haiku about. As I see it, some took
up the challenge more seriously than others!
This haiku has caught my attention because of the different aspect of a perhaps
a more common subject. In most haiku we read about willows, the willow's
branches, or trailing leaves, are reaching for the river. Here the willow is not
a maiden trailing her hair in the stream. Rather the river is the protagonist --
the one reaching out to the willow. As is fitting on a summer evening, the river
is slow moving and almost lethargic, but playful, in its action. The river is
the picture frame by which we see the willow, which is reluctant to take centre
place.
Judge Ferris Gilli's Selection
prairie dust settles
in the mare's sway-back-
summer evening
an'ya
Though it is very late in the day, there is still enough light
to see the dust settling. The poet is fascinated to see it collecting in the
concave curve of the mare's back. Without being able to explain exactly why, I
am also fascinated. Dust will fall on everything in its way -- on inanimate
objects, on people, on humans, and will find its way into the most unlikely
places in our homes; such is the nature of dust. So there's nothing remarkable
about it settling on a horse -- until the very fact of the poet's noticing it
and having an emotional response makes it so. Such is the nature of haiku
poets; we observe, and we often pause to marvel at
mundane things.
Judge Yasuomi Koganei's Selection
summer evening -
in her native tongue
jasmine
ito
Combination of a native tongue and jasmine is good. The jasmine
is a climbing plant coiling around, e.g. a fence, having fragrant flowers in
spring. She may tell him a sweet story in native tongue with a trill. The story
may be so delicate that she can not tell it in his language. Her story may be
coiling around him, spending enough time in summer evening.
Judge Michael McClintock's Selection
summer evening
the old bitch licks the same spot
on her paw
naia
There is something about the dog's repeated licking that is
essential here, that "pins" this moment with wordless
perfection. Of the many very good haiku in this set, this is the one I
keep going back to -- a purely subjective choice. That spot on that paw seems
somehow to be the center of the world in this poem, a divine mystery . . .
Judge Paul MacNeil's Selection
summer evening-
one frog and the moon
for company
Karma Tenzing Wangchuk
This has a lot of kigo. However, the primary, overriding one is
obviously
"summer." We do hear frogs in summer, perhaps a bullfrog. The
chorus of
frogs is evocative of spring. "Moon" may be a companion in any
season --
here taking on its summerness by context. The author is alone but not alone.
There seems to be a sense of ease or at least understanding that the writer
shares the isolation of the one frog. The timeless moon starts remembrance of
love and life. The moon brings so many symbols to the scene. The quiet at the
end of a hot day is hardly disturbed by just one frog's charrumph. This
haiku invites one in to bring what you bring to it
and share.
Judge George Swede's Selection
summer evening
the slow moving river pulls
at a willow's limbs
soji
This haiku combines a willow and flowing water, two things that
naturally seem to go together. What makes it special is the reflection of the
limbs in the flow of the river which evokes the tug of night's eventual dreams.
Judge Susumu Takiguchi's Selection
oars up
the rowboat glides to shore
summer evening
Carmen Sterba
Once again, choosing only one was near impossibility. The heat
and/or evening cool were felt in a tangible way in many submissions, including
the scene in the steamy movie and the crackle of ice cubes However, the
winning haiku has the feeling of a watercolour landscape well-executed. The
first line is superb both as scene setting and as a good phrase. It also has the
connotation of the end of something, in addition to the end of rowing, and that
something will be revealed when we come to the third line, namely, the end of
day. Without any punctuation, breaks of the exquisite lengths are there. The
subject matter is fresh (there may have been haiku poems depicting a rowing boat
or rowing practice but I certainly have not read them yet. Well, after this one,
there may well be a lot of copycats until after the theme will have become
hackneyed). A very atmospheric poem, once again like a good English watercolour.
Free Form Haiku
from Match Two
Judge Janice Bostok's Selection
Free form haiku seems more difficult to judge because of the
variety it allows.
morning tidepools
a hermit crab tries on
the bottle cap
Deborah P. Kolodji
At first it appears to be quite an unusual subject for a
haiku. Maybe one that our minds may tend to push aside as unimportant -- or
heaven forbid -- as untrue! But the more times I read it and thought about it,
the more I came to realise how true to 'nature' the poem is. True to the nature
of the hermit crab, which needs a new shell, and sadly true to the nature of a
human who carelessly threw the bottle cap into the tide pool. I am delighted by
the adaptability and ingenuity of one of nature's little creatures to be able to
possibly make use of our discarded human products. As we all know, many
times, these waste products do harm to our environment, and the creatures within
it.
Judge Ferris Gilli's Selection
morning tidepools
a hermit crab tries on
the bottle cap
Deborah P. Kolodji
This is such a delightful image, and realistic in spite of its
resemblance to a scene from a Disney movie. In the cool of early morning, I
smell the low-tide sea and hear gulls calling overhead. A small movement catches
my attention, and I see the little crab working with a bottle cap, trying it on
for size. As always, I am amazed at how some animals make use of things
discarded by humans
Judge Yasuomi Koganei's Selection
the white silk gown
a faint scent of camphor
as pleats unfold
ushi
It is good at suggesting a funny nature of the person dressed in
a white silk gown. Now, odorless mothballs may be in the market, but she may
like aromatic ones, and a white dress, not colored. But, probably, she makes
nothing about stains on it.
Judge Paul MacNeil's Selection
morning tidepools
a hermit crab tries on
the bottle cap
Deborah P. Kolodji
This haiku has a small flaw -- but so much charm. There is a
wonderful truth to this scene at the tide pool. A quiet time of day, the water's
surface is unblemished. The little dramas of life are plain to one who sits
quietly. The comedy, as shared by the author, is a normal thing for the crab
seeking a larger portable hiding place. The cap (I see it as a screw-off kind,
not the old flat, metal crimped variety) is just another possible shell to the
crab. The haiku is nicely told. In a few words, worlds large and small are
shown. "tidepools" is properly two words -- but this is not a big
problem. Perhaps it should be one word, and perhaps the haiku writer should be
able to put it as desired. The flaw I see is the plural of pools. While at the
tidal zone there no doubt are many pools, we are looking intently into only one,
at one crab, and one cap.
Judge Michael McClintock's Selection
thunderstorm
sweet gum burrs cover
the manicured lawn
gar
Nature is ever re-designing the world with patterns of its own.
The results are delightful, and always, it seems, an improvement. A fine
poem, gently mocking the human world.
Judge George Swede's Selection
the white silk gown
a faint scent of camphor
as pleats unfold
ushi
The scent of camphor as the pleats unfold suggests a story. Who
wore the
silk gown, and with whom, and under what circumstances?
Judge Susumu Takiguchi's Selection
eating it
eating the seaweed
eating the sea
Karma Tenzing Wangchuk
Fueki-ryuko (eternal poetic values and innovation) was the
dynamism Basho
incorporated into haikai. I commend anyone who ventures into innovation of
quality, while remaining conversant with tradition. This haiku may have broken
conventions (repetition, - ing form not once, not twice but thrice, articles, a
'shopping list' and also the repeat of but the breach is so refreshing that the
poem surprises and moves - most appropriate for a free form category. One should
be this courageous and enterprising. This haiku is not possible in Japanese, not
least because of linguistic reasons, and can be said to be a fine example, at
least potentially, of haiku in English. It may even have a sporting chance of
standing the test of time.
