From mid-February to mid-March
2002, Denis Garrison and Deborah Kolodji, conducted a highly successful Cinquain
Workshop and Contest for members of WHCshortverses. In the two previous issues
of World Haiku Review, we presented winners of the Cinquain Contest (Volume 2,
Issue 1, March 2002), and the first lesson and exercise of the workshop (Volume
2, Issue 2, July 2002). In this issue, we are pleased to present the second
lesson with several examples from the exercise, which was to employ alliteration
in cinquain. In the March 2002 issue, we plan to feature the 3rd exercise with
participant-examples of polystanzaic cinquain.
Cinquain Workshop -
Alliteration Exercise
Deborah P. Kolodji
Editor of Amaze
Moderator of CinquainPoets
The aim of the second exercise of
the WHCshortverses Cinquain Workshop was to write a cinquain that effectively
employed the use of alliteration (in all forms) and/or assonance. We explored
ways these literary devices could be used as means of linking associated words.
As a short form, the cinquain does not lend itself to complex rhyme schemes, but
the use of alliteration and assonance seems to flow naturally within a cinquain
structure.
Alliteration is a poetic device deploying a recurrence of consonant sounds in
neighboring words. Assonance, likewise, uses the repetition of vowel sounds
within a short passage of verse.
John Drury's "The Poetry Dictionary", breaks down alliteration even
further, defining "alliteration" specifically as a repetition of
initial consonant sounds, "consonance" as a repetition of consonant
sounds at the end of the words ("thick creek"), "parallel
alliteration" or "cross alliteration" as a weaving of consonant
sounds ("cranberry muffins, crinkle mouths" - repeating the
"c/m" combination of sounds), and "hidden" or
"internal" alliteration, where a consonant sound scheme in the middle
of words is repeated ("hidden middle" has a double "d" in
the middle). Drury maintains that alliteration "serves to link associated
words, to tighten the structure of the poem..."
The first time I read Adelaide Crapsey's cinquain, "Triad", I wondered
why she used the article, "the", so many times. Usually, I think of
"the" as a very weak word, adding little to a poem, and it is on my
short list of words I try to avoid using in cinquains. Yet, in
"Triad", it works and I believe the reason is alliteration.
Triad
These be
Three silent things:
The falling snow...the hour
Before the dawn...the mouth of one
Just dead.
Adelaide Crapsey
When "Triad" is read
aloud, the "th" sound comes out and seems to flow through the poem in
a way that is pleasing on my tongue:
These-Three-things-The-the-the-the-mouth.
In addition, Ms Crapsey uses
assonance. The first three words in this cinquain all have a long "e"
sound:
These be three
In the first (Valentine) exercise,
Gary Blankenship submitted the following poem :
Beneath the Words
Candy
covered cherries.
Too sweet bites hide even
sweeter surprises as do your
whispers.
Gary Blankenship
Gary starts off with the hard
"c" sound, juxtaposed in "Candy covered". As the poem
progresses, the "s" sound emerges at the beginning, at the end, and in
the middle of words:
cherries-sweet-bites-sweeter-surprises-as-whispers
as the harsher vowel sounds in the
beginning soften into the whisper of his final word, appropriately
"whispers". The juxtaposition of "bites/hide" and
"even/sweeter" also employs assonance effectively.
A sampling of the cinquains submitted as part of the alliteration exercise:
Dear Diary
In pink
ink the cinquain
slips from pen to paper;
my feelings revealed in loving
color.
naia
California, USA
While I Sleep
Let my
grief vanish like
dew from dark violets
into the sun, leaving only
velvet.
Deborah Beachboard
California, USA
02/18/02
Spring Opera
City
shades and shapes of
changing seasons, blushing
petals of cascading cherry
blossoms.
Songbirds
singing sonnets,
as rainbow dewdrops dance
daring the summer sun's prima
facie.
karina
Louisiana, USA
After an Ancient Rime
The loons
laugh lovingly.
We are left wondering:
Do albatross care their laughter's
goony?
Gary Blankenship
USA
Metropolitan Cycle
Fleeting
lavender clouds
float above the skyline.
Below, littered alleys collect
darkness.
Laurene Post
Florida, USA
Lost Soul
Stark nights
and eerie lights,
lost in shadows she lurks,
with nothing left to see or hold. . .
soulless.
Carol Raisfeld
New York, USA
Stardust
scattered diamonds
shimmer across the sky
galactic nucleus sparkles
glitter
~
zephyr (0202.22)
(Victoria Tarrani)
Trojan Gifts
Beware
the gift-giver
granting generously
your every whim; his strings might yet
hang you.
Victor P. Gendrano
California, USA
Fox Fire Winter
Flicker
along the lane,
slow frozen flames. Glimmer
in my memory forever.
Freeze frame!
Denis Garrison
Maryland, USA
Sea Shells
sea shells
on ancient shores
shine on the shifting sand,
on drifting dunes, laid long ago
I stand
Darrell Byrd
California, USA
Night Visitor
Haunted--
I feel your hand
your hope, your hungering
for a human's love, a heart to
possess.
semi (Terrie Relf)
California, USA
sitting
in still silence
I feel these seconds slip
then slide under as if they were
submerged
Marjorie Buettner
Minnesota, USA
