From mid-February to mid-March
2002, Denis Garrison, and Deborah Kolodji of AMAZE,
the Cinquain Journal , conducted a highly successful Cinquain Workshop and
Contest for members of WHCshortverses.
In the three previous issues of World Haiku Review, we presented the winners
of the Cinquain Contest, the Cinquain
Valentine Exercise and lessons
on prosody and alliteration with participant-examples. We are pleased to
present the third and final lesson and exercise of the Cinquain Workshop lesson,
"Polystanzaic Cinquains". A selection of the workshop poems are
included below the lesson.
Exercise 3:
Polystanzaic Cinquains -
Mirrors, Sequences, Linked Cinquains, Crowns
Denis Garrison
Maryland, USA
For our last exercise, we looked at the use of the cinquain as stanzas in
polystanzaic poems. Those who do not like the idea of polystanzaic cinquains
were invited to post comments in that regard. We were not suggesting, in this
exercise, that anyone had to accept the concept of polystanzaic cinquains;
however, the premise of the exercise is that doing so is worth considering.
MULTIPLICATION OF STANZAS - Cinquains, in their earliest form, are single stanza
poems of five lines. As the cinquain form develops, we need to consider
polystanzaic cinquain forms in which each stanza is a cinquain. Because each
stanza is, itself, a cinquain, it may be useful to name the polystanzaic forms
which are built on cinquains.
MIRRORS - There is one polystanzaic form in which there is a stanza that is not
a cinquain, that is, the mirror cinquain. In English poetry, mirroring is a
standard technique, applied to many different poetic forms. In mirror cinquains,
the line-count is reversed in the second, or mirror, stanza (there are two
stanzas in a mirror, or an even number - 4, 6, 8, etc., since each cinquain
needs its mirror
stanza). So, using the usual syllable counting convention, a mirror cinquain =
2,4,6,8,2 blank line 2,8,6,4,2 syllables. This pattern repeats for longer mirror
sequences.
Theoretically, one might create a
macro-mirror poem in which, for example, three cinquains are followed by three
mirrored stanzas, but the mirrors, ideally, would be in order, e.g., cinquains
1, 2, 3 are mirrored by stanzas 4 (mirroring 3), 5 (mirroring 2), 6 (mirroring
1). In mirroring, symmetry is the fundamental standard. In mirror cinquains, the
special effects of the rhopalic form (wedge verse) needs to be taken into
account as the mirror stanza will flow the opposite direction (each line is
shorter than its predecessor, except line 2); this has implications for the
content of the whole poem.
I have written some 2 stanza
mirror cinquains and seen some fine examples of 2 stanza mirror cinquains by
other poets, e.g., right here in this Cinquain Workshop and over at CinquainPoets.
As of this writing, I have not seen a macro-mirror cinquain. Such developments
are likely to come, however.
SIMPLE MULTIPLICATION - Poems may be constructed simply of any number of
cinquains serving as stanzas. When done collaboratively, by two or more poets,
such a "linked sequence" forms a single polystanzaic poem which may be
titled. When a collaborative linked sequence contains individually-titled
cinquains, this is better referred to as "linked cinquains." We have
some linked sequences and linked cinquains online now at the current issue of
AMAZE.
REFRAINS - Polystanzaic cinquains can be tied together with a refrain, whether a
phrase or a line. It is problematical using dunadh (repetition in the first and
last lines) in conjunction with the refrain technique, as it would likely be
overpowering.
Repetition of just one line of each stanza or thematically linked phrases or
lines (not actual repetition) may be more successfully used as refrains.
CROWN CINQUAINS - A crown cinquain is a 5-stanza poem in which the stanzas are
woven together / connected somehow with a refrain or any other repetition
technique (technical or thematic) which clearly makes the stanzas parts of a
whole. In other words, the full meaning of each cinquain can be discovered only
in the context of the entire poem (the crown cinquain). Crown cinquains are 25
lines in length (5x5); a double crown has 10 stanzas (50 lines); and a triple
crown has 15 stanzas (75 lines), etc.. These crown cinquains are currently being
written by several poets. See my posting (#2689) of "Heaven and Earth,
Horatio" for an example of a triple crown cinquain.
THE EXERCISE
For this exercise, there were several ways to participate. Members were invited
to:
1. Post ideas about polystanzaic
cinquains - theory and analysis, whatever.
2. Post mirrors, linked cinquains,
linked sequences, crowns (single, double, triple, whatever), cinquains with
refrains, etc.
3. Post discussion of polystanzaic
cinquains already posted here or elsewhere.
The posted polystanzaic cinquain
submissions received commentary (see examples below):
| POLYSTANZAIC
CINQUAIN SUBMISSIONS & COMMENTS |
| In Time -
Marjorie Buettner - Minnesota, USA |
a cinquain sequence
the light
of near morning
shimmers through the window
iridescent pools of shadow
dancing
today
it is as if
you have known me before
we carry water from the well
and drink*
tonight
waiting for you
I want to remember
all that you have given to me
again
how these
dreams of loving
leave me longing for you
beyond any sense of touching
touching
and now
these simple needs
of a man and woman
who have grown to love each other
in time
*previously published in Tundra 2
Marjorie,
This is a truly beautiful polystanzaic cinquain. Each stanza is very well
realized and moving. The stanzas each stand on their own (with the possible
exception of the final stanza), yet the entire poem is organically connected.
Wonderful! -Denis
|
An Afternoon Walk - Semi
(Terrie Relf) - California, USA
|
alone
I walk along
sidewalks strewn with pebbles,
dried seed pods, and pigeon feathers
just one
lonely
woman passes
her briefcase clenched tightly
to her gray-suited chest as she
retreats
This 2-stanza cinquain is
thematically linked - close to repetition with alone/just one/lonely. As
presented, the final line of stanza 1 could refer back to stanza 1 or lead
directly into stanza 2 - or both, of course. I particularly like the vivid
imagery of what seems to me to be a gray day - a gray mood. Very nice! -Denis
|
On Any Day - Laurene Post -
Florida, USA
|
On Any Day
The sun
shines, even though
thunderheads fill your sky.
Birds sing, even on the coldest
of days.
The moon
glows, even when
your eyes are closed in sleep.
Lovers kiss, and lay their claim to
the night.
The wind
blows, even though
you're shut inside four walls.
Kites held in children's hands reach for
the clouds.
The rain
falls, even when
you've dressed in silk, for him.
Flowers welcome each small shower,
each storm.
New joy,
sometimes hidden,
is born with every day,
as sun, moon, wind, and rain
bring life.
Laurene,
Oh, yes, this is a crown cinquain. These stanzas are connected, woven together -
thematically and structurally - more completely than I have seen before. We have
now seen in this workshop several ways of connecting stanzas to make a crown
cinquain, e.g., the simple refrain, the variable refrain, conceptual repetition,
and this poem's use of stanzas all built on one model, including the last stanza
which is summation and conclusion.
You all have seen me write several times, "rules can be chains." The
variety of techniques in weaving crown cinquains together demonstrates the need
for grasping the reason for a rule and then going beyond the rule itself. Never
let the rules kill the creativity that you all are showing in these postings!
I am so verklempt! - Denis
|
*Breath by Breath - Deborah
P. Kolodji - California, USA
|
first breath—
bellowing out
a red-faced newborn cry
fingers and toes all counted up
perfect
blowing
bubbles with Mom
fantasies in the wind
simple smiles fast disappearing
childhood
giddy
telephone calls
prom dress waits to be worn
dreaming teenage thoughts of first love
breathless
living
nine-to-five days
soccer, scouts, PTA's
out-of-breath mad dashes through years
rat race
photos
frozen moments
parade on the dresser
grandchildren's faces gather 'round
last breath
Debbie! This is a movie script! A
whole life of loving, crystallized in a five stanza cinquain. Very moving and
extremely accessible. While I certainly agree that any poet who prefers to write
single cinquains is totally free to do so, this poem proves the cinquain's
ability to work as stanzas in a powerful longer poem.
Color me impressed! -Denis
*first published in the
November 2002 issue of "The Writer's Hood"
|
2 Polystanzaic Cinquains -
Victor P. Gendrano- PH/California, USA
|
1)
HOSPICE VISIT
by Victor P. Gendrano
The dawn
of remembrance
breaks through his foggy mind.
Warmed by family love, he starts
to smile.
Once more
he basks at filial devotion
content that in old age
he's never left
alone.
2)
A DAY IN MARRIED LIFE
by Victor P. Gendrano
Biting
winter wind creeps
in to marital row
transforming the couple to cold
strangers.
Near dawn
their passionate
lovemaking thaws the chill
as they vow tearfully to tend
their love.
Hi Vic -
Hospice Visit - Here is a nice mirror cinquain, with first and last lines that
resonate indirectly. Despite the straightforward narrative content of the poem,
complexities suggest themselves: "Once more...alone."
A Day in Married Life - This 2-stanza cinquain is summarized in its short lines:
"Biting...strangers. Near dawn...their love." Very accessible -
especially for married folks. -Denis
End of WHC Cinquain Workshop
2002, Editor of denisgarrison.com eJournals
Thanks to Denis Garrison and
Deborah Kolodji, Editor of "AMAZE"
