Wal-Mart shopping—
trying not to stare at girls
my daughters' age
Eric Houck, Jr., US
silent for so long—
glad to hear
even her fart
Eric Houck, Jr., US
my old teacup—
after the cleaning
it burst on the floor
Gabi Greve, JP
[Suggestions]
my antique teacup—
hand-washed and dried, and
smashed on the floor
or
my favourite teacup—
diligently cleaned up, fell
and smashed into pieces
"old" is more subtle, natural and clear in its meaning. So, it all depends
on whether one wants an obvious expression (which is a characteristic of
senryu), or a more elegant and subtle one.
working cowboy
late to the ranch—
car trouble
Dave Bacharach, US
at the garage
she drops off her car—
hushed tools
Dave Bacharach,
US
high heels
click along the corridor
in the all-male office
Dick Petit, DK
the manager
leans over my desk—
her expensive suit
Dave Bacharach,
US
neat and dinky
the law lecturer as ever
makes her point
Dick Petit,
DK
unwrapping gifts—
he crinkles up the paper
and frowns
Dave Bacharach, US
former spouses
part at the corner
quick hug
Dave Bacharach, US
clocks go forward
the birds start to sing
an hour later
Dick Pettit, DK
gourmet restaurant
on the way out and
still hungry
Dave Bacharach, US
no cars
until I start
to urinate
Dave Bacharach, US
empty nest syndrome—
my wife brings home
another cat
Eric Houck Jr., US
